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STATE OF CONFUSION
) DISTRESS COURT
COUNTY OF HENNEPIN ) ss
)
John W. Ivance Jr. (Jack)
Plaintiff
vs.
Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour (Fun
House)
Defendant
Comes now the above named Plaintiff
and alleges and complains as follows:
I.
On the
evening of June 20, 1969, Plaintiff was attending a gala occasion to
celebrate the birthday of his legal counsel, Dennis A. Bowman.
II.
On or about the aforesaid June 20, 1969, at or about 9:30 P.M. at the
place of business operated by the Defendant in Far-out Minneapolis,
Defendant had occasion to place an order for a delicacy advertised by
Defendant.
III.
A short time subsequent to the placement of his order, service being
extraordinary on the evening in question, Defendant, while enjoying the
gala occasion and celebrating with his counsel the joyous occasion of
counsel's attainment of maturity (30 years of age) Defendant's servant
(a/k/a slave) negligently, carelessly, deliberately intentionally, with
malice aforethought, and by means of deceit and trickery did then and
there cause the delicacy so ordered by Defendant to be placed in such an
inclining position in mid-air, that the contents of the container were
caused to be spewn and spread all over Plaintiff's person. As a result
of the foregoing acts of the servants of Defendant, Plaintiff was
seriously and permanently damaged as follows:
A. His wearing apparel had to be returned to Hirgaard's (or was it
Omar's) for repairing:
B. Plaintiff was held up to ridicule by his counsel and all other
persons then present, there being too many to name, attending the
festive occasion:
C. Upon returning to his place of abode on the night in question,
Plaintiff was unable to remove himself under his own power from his
automobile, the syrups and sauces being used by Defendant having served
as an adhesive and binding him to the seat of his Mercedes:
D. Plaintiff was further humiliated and subjected to ridicule by the
fact that he was followed, for some time thereafter, by strange and
assorted animals attempting to lick his body to savor the sauces and
syrups used by Defendant, which sauces and syrups were served in
abundance:
E. As a further result of Defendant's negligence, Plaintiff was required
to miss work (the actual loss to his place of employment as a result
thereof being totally irrelevant) for an extended period of time and was
unable to perform the usual functions of his occupation;
F. plaintiff, in his effort to avoid coming into contact with
Defendant's sauces and syrups, moved in such a quick manner, with such
speed as to which he had not been accustomed priorthereto, sustained a
serious and permanent whiplash injury and will be forced to wear support
stockings for the rest of the term of his natural life and perhaps a
short time thereafter.
In addition to the foregoing specific damages, Plaintiff's feelings were
hurt.
WHEREFORE, Plaintiff hereby requests, demands and seeks damages against
the Defendant in the following amounts:
A. Dry cleaning of his suit; $2.50; and
B. Inasmuch as Defendant's outrageous conduct cannot be tolerated and as
a deterrent to further misconduct on the part of Defendant and to make
out of Defendant an example to the public-at-large as how not to serve
syrups and sauces. Plaintiff further demands punitive damages in an
amount sufficient to provide for his support and maintenance for many,
many years in the manner and to the style to which he has become
accustomed (e.g. spending more money than he earns); and
C. At the expense of Defendant, serve and prepare for Plaintiff's
exclusive use, benefit, and enjoyment, not more than one delicacy of his
choice from your array of sauces and syrups, to be served to Plaintiff
by the proprietor of Defendant, without drums banging, cymbals clanging,
or other fanfare, to be enjoyed by Plaintiff in a state of solitude and
without fear of molestation or harassment, and without cost or expense
of any kind whatsoever to Plaintiff.
ATTORNEY FOR PLAINTIFF
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